Being in the military isn’t hard. But being far away from your love and not coming home to his arms is just miserable.
If a zombie apocalypse happened, I’d shoot all the people I hate first, then I’ll shoot the zombies.
I’ve been thinking. What if me and my boyfriend wait to get some of our tattoos colored. And by the time we decide to get married, our wedding photos would be us coloring each other’s tattoos, symbolizing a vibrant and colorful life after the ceremony. I want that.
I currently am stuck in a place and in a situation where I’m forced to wait for something to happen. I’m really worried and I don’t understand what would make her do this to herself. I want to cry but I can’t, crying is extremely relieving…or maybe take some high dose of dee dee ecstasy pills to take this away. I feel numb and overflowing with emotions at the same time. Is this how it’s supposed to feel?
I want to get drunk and fall completely helpless in his arms, he’ll just giggle and kiss my forehead and hold me throughout the night. I would wake up, between intervals of feeling hungover and sick to seeing him wrapped in white sheets, unconscious but hoping on opening his eyes at 4 in the morning and I’m still there. Walking on cold wooden floors, I walk through the hallways to his bathroom. Gulping water down my throat, I’d look at myself in the mirror and see my ill drunken face, I’d burst into a tired chuckle. Upon turning off the lights, I prepare to run silently back under the sheets to my fair, sleeping safety.
I didn’t know my boyfriend noticed that I was still terribly torn. I can’t believe I even thought about leaving him either. I really hate it when I finally get so angry that I do and say the stupidest things. It’s just not fair to him. I mean, we both have uneven edges, I do hope we fill in each other’s emptiness. That we’d eventually make each other genuinely happy. That’s all I want, all I need.
I’ve just moved here from the Philippines last year and the moment I get my shit together, my family decides to move to California. I never should have had a relationship if that was going to happen. My last relationship that lasted for three years ended because of a fucking twelve hour time difference. I need a decent paying job, I want to be able to live by myself but sometimes, the person that makes me stay, makes me feel like my existence isn’t so important. I don’t really know, will it really be worth it?